Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
