2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
