if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
