I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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