It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
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Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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