im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So much rum. So many feels.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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