He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
