i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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