His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
im on a boat
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