Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
