I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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