Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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