thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if only i could text you this smell
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the day after is always just damage control
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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