So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
