Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Still dying that you shit outside
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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