Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize