:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
