I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
