If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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