She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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