i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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