i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
