In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
