I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize