that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Someone shattered a urinal.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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