Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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