in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
