I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
