Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
