Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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