ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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