sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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