Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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