I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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