turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize