im having a threesome with these popsicles
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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