I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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