She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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