ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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