Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
