So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
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Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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