No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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