Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
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You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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