I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
