I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
