you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
