So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
