Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
