Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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