who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
