In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
