I wish I only lived at night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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