you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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