Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
