He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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