Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
